Will I live autonomously or dependently?

Every once in a while leaders get depressed. Oh, not the clinical kind but just a heavy dose of “woe is me.” It can happen when some deep difficulty arises or when what you expected to happen doesn’t. It can even be something that you didn’t count on but just set you back on your heels emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes its effect can surprise you!

The later is what happened to me recently. I am in the midst of job searching. Oh, I have a job with a loving church but due to circumstances this local church can no longer afford the property we have nor does it seem wise for the core of the congregation to start a new church but rather better to support existing churches in our area. (But, I digress) The bottom line for me personally is that since the church is closing that means my present job is coming to an end. So, with our Elders blessing I’ve been looking for another ministry for the past couple of months while guiding the church’s closure in such a way that our property will be used for some kind of Kingdom impacting ministry.

Now, you may wonder what paragraph one has to do with paragraph two. I’m actually wondering that a little and I’m writing this! 🙂 But here is the connection. In putting out resumes I have received more “thanks, but no thanks,” than I have interest. Last night I received another such response saying that I didn’t even make the “cut” to be interviewed. For some reason, that particular rejection hit me hard. Actually I didn’t even realize how hard until this morning. I found myself “mopey” and unmotivated to do much of anything. That’s when I realized the rejection has hit me harder than I realized. Thus, the surprise comment in paragraph one.

One of the things I’ve always told others is that when you are feeling down do one of two things: (A) Go to the Word and see if God has some encouragement for you – after all, he may be trying to teach you or at least remind you of something –  or (B) Do something for someone else. (or both!) So,  this morning I began doing a moral inventory of my faith. I read several chapters from Exodus and Matthew (where I am in my reading program) and then saw a footnote for an obscure reference to a passage in Lamentations. Now, I don’t know about you but Lamentations is not exactly on my everyday radar for reading. So with curiosity I turned to those verses. Here they are:

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,  for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;  therefore I will wait for him.” 25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,  to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly upon the LORD. (Lamentations 3:22-26)

I know I don’t need to say it but, “Wow!” Once again I am reminded that I have a choice. I can either give in to my  natural quest for autonomy or I can continue to seek to be totally dependent on God. Scriptures tell us in several places that an autonomous mindset is a mark of foolishness, since it ignores our fundamental need for God so the choice is crystal clear.

I’m thanking Him that from a footnote comes clarity and from clarity comes a renewed spirit and resolution.  God’s compassions NEVER fail, He WILL take care of me and I will wait on Him. In fact, I’ll take dependence on Him over autonomy on me any day! Hope you will too.


About timothymsmith

Christ Follower Married 3 Children 8 Grandchildren Pastor Braves Fan
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5 Responses to Will I live autonomously or dependently?

  1. Max Smith says:

    Very encouraging, not just for you but also for any of us. We needed that. Thank you. We want to order our lives the way we want life to be and that may not be exactly what God’s will is so we patiently wait on Him seeking His will. Dad


  2. Joann C. Smith says:

    Tim , Thanks again for this reminder. This verse is found in Lamentations 3 : 22-26 . I too have it marked in my Bible ! You are a great writer . I think you may get your talent from your Dad !
    Love and Prayers, Joann


  3. tomsmiley says:

    honest, insightful and helpful……..peace to you..


  4. Carmen Wren says:

    So, I’ve been praying and crying out to God about our issue with the building (property), and this thought entered my mind: We can’t lose our church because of a building. We are the building!

    We just need a place to meet, so why not meet at one or more of our houses for awhile until we save enough money for a building (or not!) This may sound childish, but I’d rather think that it comes from child-like faith.

    Just now, while I sat praying and grieving my losses,the tears flowed freely as I experienced, first sadness and then joy. You see, I’ve never felt close to a Pastor and his wife before, let alone the Elders and their wives! I had only respected their authority. Now I can honestly say that I know what it suppose to feel like . . . . I’m crying again because I don’t want to lose the second most important thing in my life – others! IJohn 3

    God has made us a family, so no matter what happens, the world can’t take that away from us! What God has joined together, let no man separate!

    God is Good all the time. Love you guys!


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